Tag: Family

By A. Nichols

The Chinese marriage tradition has gone from what was formerly arranged marriages to modern self-chosen marriages. Previously, the parents arranged marriages to provide only the finest partner for their children. Though most people would think this type of relationship wouldn’t survive, Xu Xiaohe and Martin Whyte said in their journal article that arranged marriages always “start out cold and grow hot”. The Chinese believe that the couples learn to love each other the longer they are together. However, the idea of arranged marriages is becoming less and less popular in the Chinese culture due to the increase in status of women in society. Chinese women have obtained a lot more rights in the past few years and finally have gained equal rights with men. With this, women are more interested in marrying a man that will be able to support them and their family with a prosperous job and good personality. Women are also getting married much older because they have decided they want to become something first and go out and work in a work place, rather than just staying home. All of these elements affect marriage because not only are people making their own choice of whom they will marry, they are also making something of themselves as an individuals. The Chinese are also becoming more accepting of divorce. Though the older generation believes that the younger generation won’t attempt to make their relationships work, it is still seen that some relationships will just never work out.[1] More Chinese have been getting divorced as the country revolutionizes.

When taking a look at the historical American practices, we see it’s somewhat similar to what is practiced today with the exception of a few changes. Starting in the late 1600’s the American colonies adopted the “English common law, which said, ‘by marriage, the husband and wife are one person in the law.’”[2] Back then women didn’t have rights in America, and the men controlled most of what they did.  Women couldn’t have property in their name, so their husbands controlled all of their assets. Today women have equal rights to men. Divorce is also something that has had a big influence on American culture. In 1969, “California adopt[ed] the nation’s first “no fault” divorce law, allowing divorce by mutual consent.”[3] This allowed both men and women to separate if their marriage was not working out as they had hoped. This trend wasn’t very popular at first, but allowed the option if it was necessary. But today, the idea of divorce has become very popular. Many Americans decide to take the easy route of getting a divorce rather than trying to work through their relationship. The divorce rate for America is at an all time high, “41-50%”. [4]

The Chinese and Americans started off with numerous different marriage traditions and beliefs, but as the world modernizes, their similarities began to show more significantly. Though they are moving at different speeds and at different times, they are both moving in a similar direction toward similar beliefs.

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[1] Xinxin, Zhang, “How Come You Aren’t Divorced Yet?” Unofficial China: Popular Culture and thought in the People’s Republic, edited by E. Perry Link, Richard Madsen, and Paul Pickowicz, 66.

[2] Shenker, Jill. “A Selective History of Marriage in the United States | Solidarity.” Solidarity: A Socialist, Feminist, Anti-Racist Organization. http://solidarity-us.org/node/370. 2004 (accessed November 8, 2012).

[3] Shenker. “A Selective History of Marriage in the United States | Solidarity.” 2004.

[4] “Divorce Statistics and Divorce Rate in the USA.” Divorce Statistics. http://www.divorcestatistics.info/divorce-statistics-and-divorce-rate-in-the-usa.html (accessed November 8, 2012).

 

By A. Nichols

Parenting is a great responsibility that comes with many choices and decisions to be made. Social scientists have speculated about and researched parental and family influence on child development for many decades. Parenting styles differ based on many aspects of culture. Different cultures tend to have different perceptions and goals of how to raise a child based on their past and their beliefs. The Chinese culture tends to refer to a more strict method of parenting, while Western parents have a more laid back technique of raising children. To both countries, children are the most important natural resource; but the outcome depends on how we treat them. Through exploring different ideas and techniques of parenting, one can make their own assumption about what the best way to raise a child is. Chinese and Western parents both have evidence that shows the effectiveness of their parenting styles, but one must analyze their reasoning for using those specific techniques and contemplate if that is the optimal for their cultural and familial situation.
Chinese parents pay special attention to training children and adhering to socially desirable and culturally approved behavior. Chinese parents tend to be much stricter. Many people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful children. Chinese parents believe that their children owe them. The reasoning behind this is based on the Confucian filial piety which is a guide for Confucian followers. This training concept is important in explaining the academic success of Chinese children. According to this philosophy, Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents, obeying their parents, and making their parents proud. A Chinese parent will disregard their child’s feelings if they do not agree with them. And yet, Chinese culture is not as punitive of children as Western culture. Although using a laid back tendency of parenting now, the “authoritarian” concept has evolved from an American culture and psychology that is rooted in both evangelical and Puritan religious influence. North American families have found that strong support from the spouses and friends may ease mothers’ stress in parent-child interaction, which allows them to respond more sensitively to their children’s needs, but Chinese mothers perceive that social support is not associated with their authoritarian parenting.
Children are the product of their cultural upbringing and are the most potent force in shaping the present and future of a nation. Parenting and parent-child interaction are influenced by the ecological context, which is mediated by society-wide changes and shifts in cultural values and child-rearing goals, as well as family-level life stress and social support. There are considerable individual differences in parenting styles. Parental influences on children’s development have been the topic of speculation for centuries and the focus of theory and research for decades. Although Chinese parents and Western parents may have different thoughts on the best way of raising a child, it is up to the individual set of parents to reflect on their goals and expectations of their children to decide what is the best parenting style for their circumstances.