The next break is upon us, and as my friends all giddily prepare to leave tonight and tomorrow, I again find myself alone at my desk contemplating whether or not I have done all that I have wanted while at Furman thus far, playing the part of the sleepless writer.

Last time when I needed a structure on which to base my overarching thoughts on Furman I used a Hemmingway quote, and as I rather appreciated the structure of that particular entry, I shall try it here again, this time stealing from the wonderful ee cummings:

“in time of daffodils(who know the goal of living is to grow) forgetting why,remember how
in time of lilacs who proclaim the aim of waking is to dream, remember so(forgetting seem)
in time of roses(who amaze our now and here with paradise) forgetting if,remember yes
in time of all sweet things beyond whatever mind may comprehend, remember seek(forgetting find)
and in a mystery to be (when time from time shall set us free) forgetting me,remember me”

The goal of living is to grow. I had forgotten how painful growing pains are, whether physical or emotional, and no one bothered to warn me just how many growing pains I would experience in college. College life requires self motivation, it requires highlighting and annotating the latest chemistry chapter on time, so that you are not doing it all the day before the test. It requires a balance between sitting in a practice room shouting and arguing because it’s the only private place on campus and finishing that essay that is due in the morning, even though all you want to do is figure it all out. It requires the motivation to practice your instrument or run your lines or else go to sleep, even when all your friends are heading out to Steak and Shake. College is a balancing act, but from that balancing, and especially from the times that we fail to balance, we often find we grow the most.

The aim of waking is to dream. It’s okay to not know what you want to do. I have a friend back home who texted me the other day near hysterics because she is twenty years old and still has no idea what she wants to do with her life. I had to remind her that none of us do. I do not think we are supposed to. College is here to give us the opportunity to dream of our futures, often many-faceted, and figure out who we are. I am very much of the mindset that you shouldn’t knock it until you try it. The other day I was sitting in my friend’s dorm room, helping him with his calculus homework when I realized something so startling I had to laugh out loud. I miss math. I am not a numbers person, have never been a numbers person, but I miss the puzzle of getting an equation to fit, of figuring out derivatives and integrals. I do not have to take math here at Furman, but instead of Biology Research Analysis, I might take the corresponding Psychology course, which is statistics based, simply because I miss the thrill of solving an equation, something I thought I would be glad to never have to do again.

Who amaze our now and here with paradise. How fitting that in the paragraph that comes from a poetic line about roses I should talk about Sigma Alpha Iota, the professional music fraternity (for women) on campus (Love and Roses :) ). I never thought that I would go Greek, but seeing how much these young women care for and support one another, and knowing that we would share a bond through music, has completely turned what I thought on its head. I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to get to know these young women and I look forward to attending SAI events starting when we get back Thanksgiving break!

So these are some of the sweet things at Furman I am busy comprehending, along with dinners with my flute studio, football victories (Go Paladins! 2013 SoCon champions!) and the run of Pomp and Circumstance. As wonderful as it all has been, I am happy to officially invite a relaxing break into my life. Until the next!

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